Monday, October 25, 2010

The most evil invention...

Yes. I'm talking about the diaper cake.
Why on earth would you ever think that it was acceptable to give a pregnant woman a cake she cannot eat?!!!!
Here's my beef with diaper cakes;

1. They're some of the ugliest things known to man. No wonder people hate baby showers (and don't pretend you like them, I know better) You have to look at these atrocious things and smile and pretend you like it. It's the same as the Armadillo cake situation in "Steel Magnolias".

2. They are completely useless. Have you ever tried to put on a diaper that has been hiding in the bottom of the diaper bag for a few weeks? It's not easy. And you know as soon as you take one of those hand tied bows off the whole damn thing is going to fall all over the floor and you're going to have to find a way to bend your big ol' pregnant ass down to pick them up.

3. You have to pretend you are thankful for something that is just going to take up valuable space in the nursery room. And have to see said diaper cake every time you walk in to the babies room...valuable space that could be used to put that beer that you have been waiting nine months to drink!

4. Diapers are meant to be pooped and pee'd in. Why on earth would you think that's cute?

5. IT'S NOT A CAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do not under any circumstance give me something that is a fake substitute for a cake. I will gnaw your arm off with buttercream icing.

These things are what women who secretly hate you give you. They are evil and must be destroyed.


  1. I actually used all of the diapers from my "cake", but the first time I saw one I had no idea what it was supposed to be, I had to ask. I'm with you on all things called cake should be edible.

  2. Well there goes my gift idea for you ;P