Wednesday, November 3, 2010

It ain't me babe

I wish I was an "earth mother" type.
I really do. I have a friend who is. She's so fantastic. Her whole family is like that. They are the uber family. She's about 5 foot tall and 90 pounds....pregnant and soaking wet. She ran a marathon at 7 months pregnant with her first child. She never showed any signs of being moody and pregnancy made her prettier (something that I don't think is human and I didn't think she could get prettier).
And we all rolled our eyes when she said she was going to give birth completely natural. But she did.
For the longest time I wanted to be like her. I wanted the same when I was to give birth to my first child, Parker. But that didn't happen.
I was induced with Parker because I was already late and had gained a whopping 60 pounds on my 5 foot 2 inch frame. That was already bad. I wanted a full on painful, no drugs, energizing, and I AM WOMAN birth. The next morning after about 7 hours of labor and them breaking my water with a contraption that looked like something out of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the doc decided to do another ultrasound to see why the baby wasn't coming down.
She had turned and was now breech.
We had to have a c-section. I was horrified and tired and disappointed in myself for not being a "real mother". After the c section, I had to wait in the recovery room until I could move my toes.
Seriously. They said "you can hold your baby when you can move your toes". I was like Uma in the Kill Bill "Pussy Wagon" trying to move my toes.
I was there for an hour. By myself. Crying and feeling very alone. Needless to say, it sucked.

That was my experience in giving birth. It's still hard to think about. But I have come to be ok with the fact that I am not like my friend. And I'm no less of a mother. Shit happens.

My doctor now is kind of pushing me to do a VBAC. Vaginal birth after Cesarean. The risks can be pretty high. Uterine rupture does not sound fun. And considering what I went through last time, a planned c-section doesn't sound so bad. They don't hold you in a room away from your baby here, so no toe moving necessary.

I also watch those birth shows, and I really don't want all my junk laying out for everyone to see. I get cold chills just looking at stirrups. And I'm a pretty gassy person. My poor doctor would not be amused.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I have some time to think on it. But I'm leaning towards c-section.

As for my friend, she's due to give birth all natural again in December. I wish her the best of luck.


  1. Wow Devin - Isaac was exactly the same as Parker - except for the late part (induced early for pre-eclampsia) and only 6 hours of labor before they figured out he was breech (think both feet down saying, "HELL NO, I'm not coming out!). But I was allowed to hold him (which was good, because it was several hours before I could move my toes - and was on mag thinking "why are my toes glowing?" not realizing they had put a pulse-ox on my toes). Although I never did see anything on him besides the top of his head until the next morning. But yeah, 60 pounds gained with him.

    But being on the more conservative east coast, I was pushed the other direction TOWARDS a c-section for Liam (only 25 pounds gained). I have to say the experience was much nicer with it being planned - and no labor pains before hand :) Plus it helped that the anesthesiologist was HOT and had a great sense of humor and kept me entertained for the 2 hours it took (they thought they nicked my bladder and had to investigate - luckily all was well).

    Don't feel bad about your decision. It really was easier. Although the pain after surgery the second time seemed worse - but maybe that was just me. *hugs*

  2. You don't have to decide yet. I had J semi-naturally; my cute OB wasn't feeling up to snuff and accidentally broke my water at my (term) office visit. But I had gained 65 lb. and had pre-eclampsia and J had turned from his breach position. So he decided to induce - and almost missed the event! Might have been better; the snips he performed haven't helped in my later life! So a second C isn't a bad thing.
    There's a lot of pressure on hospitals and therefore OBs to limit the number of C-sections they perform. If your OB is giving you a choice, choose! And only you can do that - later.

  3. I am going for a VBAC with this pregnancy, but my children are going to be a lot closer in age, so I really won't have any recovery time for a c-section. You already know that how your baby is born is no indication of your womanhood, so don't get pushed into anything you don't want. In S.C. it isn't easy to get a VBAC and my last OBGYN told me that no one does them, I had to ask my family doctor for a recommendation. If you do decide you would like more info let me know. My sister had the option of a VBAC and she told them in no uncertain terms that she was going for a C-Section, thank you very much. They both have pros and cons.